3Zhaozhou and Nanquan上堂

Nanquan took the high seat. The master asked, "Does the bright side fit, or the dark side?" Nanquan got up and went back to his quarters. The master stepped down from the platform and said, "That old monk. One question from me and he hadn't a word to say." The head monk said, "Don't say the master had nothing to say. You're the one who didn't get it." The master hit him, then added, "This beating really belongs to the old man up front."

The master asked Nanquan, "Where does a person who knows go?" Nanquan said, "Down the hill to the donor's house, to come back as a water buffalo." The master said, "Thanks for the pointer." Nanquan said, "Last night at midnight the moon reached the window."

When the master was tending the stove at Nanquan's, the whole assembly was called out to sort vegetables. The master stayed inside and yelled, "Fire! Fire!" Everyone came running to the front of the monks' hall, and the master shut the door on them. Nobody could say a thing. Nanquan tossed the key in through the window, and the master opened the door.

The master was drawing water at the well-tower when he saw Nanquan coming. He wrapped himself around the post, let his legs dangle, and called, "Save me! Save me!" Nanquan climbed the ladder and counted, "One, two, three, four, five." A little later the master came to thank him. "Thanks for the rescue just now."

The east and west halls were quarreling over a cat. Nanquan came in, held the cat up, and said, "Say a word and I won't cut it. Can't say one, and I cut it in two." The assembly tried, but no one hit his mark, so then and there he cut the cat in two. That evening the master came back from outside. As he was paying his respects, Nanquan told him what had happened and asked, "How would you have saved the cat?" The master took off a sandal, set it on his head, and walked out. Nanquan said, "If you'd been here, the cat would have lived."

The master asked Nanquan, "I won't ask about what's different. What is the same?" Nanquan laid both hands flat on the ground. The master stomped him down, then went off to the nirvana hall, crying, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Nanquan heard, and sent someone to ask what he was sorry for. The master said, "Sorry I didn't give him two more stomps."

Nanquan was passing the bathhouse and saw the bath attendant stoking the fire. He asked, "What are you doing?" "Heating the bath." Nanquan said, "Remember to call the water buffalo in for a wash." The attendant said yes. That evening the attendant came to Nanquan's quarters. Nanquan asked, "What is it?" "I've come to call the water buffalo in for his bath." Nanquan said, "Did you bring a rope?" The attendant had nothing to say. The master came to pay his respects, and Nanquan told him about it. The master said, "I have an answer." Nanquan said, "Well, did you bring a rope?" The master stepped right up, grabbed Nanquan by the nose, and yanked. Nanquan said, "That's it, all right, but pretty rough."

The master asked Nanquan, "Beyond the four propositions and the hundred negations: Master, say it." Nanquan went back to his quarters. The master said, "That old monk usually runs his mouth nonstop. Ask him something real and he can't get out a word." The attendant said, "Better not say the master had nothing to say." The master gave him a slap.

Nanquan shut the door of his quarters, ringed it with ash, and asked the monks, "Say a word and I'll open the door." Plenty of them tried; none hit his mark. The master said, "Good grief. Good grief." Nanquan opened the door.

The master asked Nanquan, "Mind isn't Buddha, knowing isn't the Way. Is there still a fault in that?" Nanquan said, "There is." The master said, "Where's the fault? Master, say it." Nanquan started to explain. The master walked out.