31Addressing the Assembly示眾

Zhaozhou took the high seat and addressed the assembly:

"A gold buddha can't get through the furnace. A wood buddha can't get through the fire. A clay buddha can't get through the water. The real buddha sits inside you.

"Enlightenment, nirvana, true suchness, buddha-nature: all of it clothing stuck to your skin. Another name for it is trouble. Stop asking and there's no trouble. Out where things actually stand, where would you pin any of it down?

"Let not a single thought arise, and the ten thousand things are blameless. Just sit and look into this for twenty or thirty years. If you still don't get it, cut off my head. Dreams, illusions, flowers in empty air: you wear yourself out grabbing at them. Once your mind stops splitting things, the ten thousand things are just as they are. You didn't get it from outside, so what are you holding onto? You're like a sheep, picking up any old thing and stuffing it in your mouth. Why?

"I heard Master Yaoshan say: when someone asks you a question, just tell them to shut their dog mouth. I say it too. Shut your dog mouth. To grab is filth, not to grab is clean. You're a hunting dog, dead set on catching something to eat. So where will you pin the Dharma down? A thousand people, ten thousand people, every one of them out hunting buddha. Try to find one real person of the Way among them. Not one.

"If you want to be a student of the King of Emptiness, don't let your mind fall sick. That's the hardest thing to cure. Before there was a world, this nature was already here. When the world falls apart, this nature won't. From the moment you first laid eyes on me, you've never been anyone else. You're the master of the house. Why go looking outside for that? At a moment like this, don't turn your head or change your face. The instant you do, you've lost it."

A monk asked, "What is the person beyond buddha?"
Zhaozhou said, "The one dragging the plow ox along, that's him."

A monk asked, "What's urgent?"
Zhaozhou said, "I've said my piece. What about you?"
"I don't get it."
Zhaozhou said, "I'm telling you it's urgent. Strap your boots on and stand on the water. Ride your horse all the way to the capital, and your boot tips still aren't wet."

A monk asked, "When the four mountains close in on every side, then what?" [Birth, old age, sickness, death.]
Zhaozhou said, "The road that isn't there, that's Zhaozhou."

A monk asked, "When the old palace has no king, then what?"
Zhaozhou cleared his throat.
The monk said, "So that's the minister announcing the emperor."
Zhaozhou said, "The thief's already shown himself."

A monk asked, "How old are you, Master?"
Zhaozhou said, "A string of prayer beads you can't count to the end of."

A monk asked, "Whose heir are you?"
Zhaozhou said, "Congshen's."

A monk asked, "If someone out there suddenly asks what Dharma Zhaozhou teaches, how should I answer?"
Zhaozhou said, "Salt's dear, rice is cheap."

A monk asked, "What is buddha?"
Zhaozhou said, "Are you buddha?"

A monk asked, "What is leaving home?"
Zhaozhou said, "How could you ever lay eyes on me?"

A monk asked, "What about the place where buddhas and ancestors don't cut off?"
Zhaozhou said, "Nothing left out."

A monk said, "Master, point me to the source."
Zhaozhou said, "The source isn't sick."
"And once you've finished with it?"
Zhaozhou said, "The one who's finished knows."
"What's it like at that moment?"
Zhaozhou said, "Give me a name for it."

A monk asked, "When you're pure and unmixed, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Now that's a fine question."

A monk asked, "The man who does nothing and rests in stillness, doesn't he sink into emptiness?"
Zhaozhou said, "He sinks into emptiness."
"In the end, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Become a donkey, become a horse."

A monk asked, "What is the meaning of the Ancestor coming from the West?"
Zhaozhou said, "The leg of the meditation bench."
"Isn't that it?"
Zhaozhou said, "If it is, take it off with you."

A monk asked, "When everything's clear and there's not a single speck, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "I don't take on hired hands around here."

A monk asked, "When even the phoenix can't fly there, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Where did you come from to begin with?"

A monk asked, "When the place where things really stand won't take in a single mote of dust, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "It's all in there."

A monk asked, "What is the one phrase?"
Zhaozhou answered, "Yes?"
The monk asked again.
Zhaozhou said, "I'm not deaf."

A monk asked, "Does a newborn baby have the six senses or not?"
Zhaozhou said, "A ball bouncing on a rushing stream."

A monk asked, "When everything comes home at once, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Still a hundred steps behind me."

A monk asked, "What's your house style, Master?"
Zhaozhou said, "I left home as a boy and shook off everything I owned."

A monk asked, "Master, answer me without using the four propositions."
Zhaozhou said, "I'm always right in there."

A monk asked, "Bian Que was the king of doctors. Why did he fall sick?"
Zhaozhou said, "Even Bian Que the king of doctors never left his sickbed." Then he added, "One drop of sweet dew soaks the whole vast universe."

A monk asked, "What is the white ox in the open field?"
Zhaozhou said, "You animal."

A monk asked, "What does a great man look like?"
Zhaozhou eyed him sideways.
The monk said, "Still hanging back a step, waiting to fall in line."
Zhaozhou said, "I haven't got time to fall in line with the likes of you."

A monk asked, "The moment a thought stirs, you drop into the human and heavenly realms. With no thought at all, you drop in among your kin. So then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Not just me. No master alive could answer you."

A monk asked, "Whatever you do falls into the dregs. Master, answer me without doing anything."
Zhaozhou snapped at a nun, "Bring water and top off the boiling pot."

A monk asked, "What is prajna-paramita?"
Zhaozhou said, "Maha prajna-paramita."

A monk asked, "What is the lion that bites people?"
Zhaozhou said, "I take refuge in buddha, in Dharma, in the sangha. Don't bite me."

A monk asked, "Leave words and phrases aside, Master, and speak."
Zhaozhou coughed.

A monk asked, "How do I avoid slandering the ancients and still not betray their kindness?"
Zhaozhou said, "What about you?"

A monk asked, "What is the one phrase?"
Zhaozhou said, "What did you say?"

A monk asked, "What is the one phrase?"
Zhaozhou said, "Two phrases."

A monk asked, "Only buddha alone is a true teacher. How about that?"
Zhaozhou said, "That's the devil talking."

A monk asked, "What is enlightenment?"
Zhaozhou said, "That's a lost cause."

A monk asked, "What does a great man look like?"
Zhaozhou said, "What a fine grandson."

A monk asked, "When you're utterly still with nothing to lean on, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "I'm right behind you."

A monk asked, "What is the temple?"
Zhaozhou said, "What else would there be?"
"And who's the person in the temple?"
Zhaozhou said, "Me and you."

A monk asked, "Two dragons fighting over a pearl. Which one gets it?"
Zhaozhou said, "I just watch."

A monk asked, "What is the person beyond cause and effect?"
Zhaozhou said, "If you hadn't asked, I honestly wouldn't know."

A monk asked, "A crowd of blind men feeling out an elephant, each describing a different piece. What's the real elephant?"
Zhaozhou said, "Nothing fake here. You just don't know it yourself."

A monk asked, "What is the first phrase?"
Zhaozhou coughed.
"Isn't that it?"
Zhaozhou said, "I can't even cough around here."

A monk asked, "Does the great ocean take in all the rivers?"
Zhaozhou said, "The ocean says it doesn't know."
"Why doesn't it know?"
Zhaozhou said, "It never once says, 'I take in the rivers.'"

A monk asked, "Who is Vairochana's teacher?"
Zhaozhou said, "Vairochana, Vairochana."

A monk asked, "Do the buddhas have a teacher?"
Zhaozhou said, "They do."
"Who is the buddhas' teacher?"
Zhaozhou said, "Amitabha Buddha, Amitabha Buddha."

A monk asked, "Who is my teacher?"
Zhaozhou said, "Clouds rising off the mountain, water falling without a sound."
"That's not what I'm asking."
Zhaozhou said, "It's your teacher, and you won't own it."

A monk asked, "Everywhere they just talk it out of their mouths. How do you show people, Master?"
Zhaozhou rapped the stove with his heel.
"Isn't that it?"
Zhaozhou said, "You've got my heel down exactly."

A monk asked, "When you don't walk the great road, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "You salt-smuggler."
"And when you do walk the great road?"
Zhaozhou said, "Show me your permit."

A monk asked, "What is the original body?"
Zhaozhou said, "Ever since you got to know me, you're the same old fellow, no different."
"Then I'm cut off from you for a lifetime."
Zhaozhou said, "Not just this life. For a thousand lives, ten thousand lives, you won't know me."

A monk asked, "What is the meaning of the Ancestor coming from the West?"
Zhaozhou said, "How long has that gourd been hanging on the east wall?"

A monk asked, "When it won't square up or come round, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Not square, not round."
"What about then?"
Zhaozhou said, "It's square, it's round."

A monk asked, "When two people of the Way meet, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Hold up the lacquerware."

A monk asked, "Why can't you get a clear look at the truth?"
Zhaozhou said, "The truth isn't missing. It's the looking you can't manage."
"In the end, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Lose the truth."

A monk asked, "When walking doesn't get there and asking doesn't get there, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Getting there by not getting there. A man of the Way sees it like snot and spit."
"And the thing itself?"
Zhaozhou spat on the ground.

A monk asked, "What is the meaning of the Ancestor coming from the West?"
Zhaozhou said, "As long as you don't call it the Ancestor's meaning, you're still not there."
"What's it originally like?"
Zhaozhou said, "Four eyes meet, and there's no second master."

A monk asked, "With no shape or bearing at all, do you understand it or not?"
Zhaozhou said, "Do you understand it right now?"

A monk asked, "What is the man with no shame at all?"
Zhaozhou said, "They've all got something past imagining."

A monk asked, "I'm thinking of heading south to pick up a little Dharma. How about it?"
Zhaozhou said, "Go south, and wherever there's a buddha, run right past. Wherever there's no buddha, don't stop either."
"Then I've got nothing to lean on."
Zhaozhou said, "Willow fluff, willow fluff."

A monk asked, "What's the urgent point?"
Zhaozhou said, "One question, one answer."

A monk asked, "Without relying on the tongue, can you still use the present moment?"
Zhaozhou said, "I'll talk along with you. How do you take it?"

A monk asked, "What's your house style, Master?"
Zhaozhou said, "Vast, vast universe, countless people."
"Master, don't answer the question."
Zhaozhou said, "That's just how I do it."

A monk asked, "Two dragons fighting over a pearl. Which one gets it?"
Zhaozhou said, "The loser loses nothing, the winner has no use for it."

A monk asked, "What does a great man look like?"
Zhaozhou said, "What is it?"

A layman offered a kesa robe and asked, "Putting on a robe like this, don't I let the ancients down?"
Zhaozhou threw down his whisk and said, "Is this ancient or modern?"

A monk asked, "What is the practice of a monk?"
Zhaozhou said, "Open your hands, don't move your feet."

A monk asked, "Before Niutou met the Fourth Ancestor, what was he like?"
Zhaozhou said, "Plenty of firewood, plenty of water."
"And after he met him?"
Zhaozhou said, "Plenty of firewood, plenty of water."

A monk asked, "What is my own self?"
Zhaozhou said, "Have you eaten your rice yet?"
"I've eaten."
Zhaozhou said, "Then go wash your bowl."

A monk asked, "Who is Vairochana's teacher?"
Zhaozhou said, "Has the white camel arrived?"
"It's here."
Zhaozhou said, "Take it out and feed it grass."

A monk asked, "What is the wisdom that has no teacher?"
Zhaozhou said, "I never taught you a thing."

A monk asked, "What is the one phrase that hits home?"
Zhaozhou said, "You've already blown it."

A monk asked, "Without borrowing my mouth, will you allow some discussion?"
Zhaozhou said, "Now's the time."
"Then please, Master, let's discuss it."
Zhaozhou said, "I never came out."

A monk asked, "The Second Ancestor cut off his arm. What was that for?"
Zhaozhou said, "Bones to powder, body to bits."
"To make an offering to whom?"
Zhaozhou said, "An offering to whoever comes."

A monk asked, "Why couldn't the Boundless-Body Bodhisattva see the crown of the Buddha's head?"
Zhaozhou said, "You're the monk here."

A monk asked, "By day there's sunlight, by night there's firelight. What is the spirit light?"
Zhaozhou said, "Sunlight, firelight."

A monk asked, "What's the spot where the question hits dead-on?"
Zhaozhou said, "Wrong."
"Then what's the spot where there's no question?"
Zhaozhou said, "Sort it out in that last phrase."

A monk asked, "What does a great man look like?"
Zhaozhou rubbed his face with his hand, folded his hands, and composed himself.

A monk asked, "What is doing-nothing?"
Zhaozhou said, "That's doing-something."

A monk asked, "What is the meaning of the Ancestor coming from the West?"
Zhaozhou said, "Lost the ox right out of the pen."

A monk asked, "I've come a long way, Master. Point me to it."
Zhaozhou said, "The minute you walked in the door it would've been good to spit right in your face."

A monk asked, "What is the one straight road through?"
Zhaozhou said, "Has the boat from Huainan come in yet?"
"I don't get it."
Zhaozhou said, "Well, glad you made it."

A monk asked, "Does the cypress tree have buddha-nature or not?"
Zhaozhou said, "It does."
"When will it become a buddha?"
Zhaozhou said, "When the empty sky falls to the ground."
"And when will the empty sky fall to the ground?"
Zhaozhou said, "When the cypress tree becomes a buddha."

A monk asked, "What is the meaning of the coming from the West?"
Zhaozhou said, "Why are you cursing me out in the middle of the temple?"
"What did I do wrong?"
Zhaozhou said, "I can't very well curse you out in the middle of the temple."

A monk asked, "What is the meaning of the coming from the West?"
Zhaozhou said, "Hair growing on your front teeth."

A monk asked, "A poor man comes. What do you give him?"
Zhaozhou said, "I'm not poor."
"Then what do I do about finding you, Master?"
Zhaozhou said, "I just keep my poverty."

A monk asked, "Why couldn't the Boundless-Body Bodhisattva see the crown of the Buddha's head?"
Zhaozhou said, "Like there's a sheer gauze curtain between them."

A monk asked, "The sweet dew of the gods, who gets to taste it?"
Zhaozhou said, "Thanks for bringing it."

A monk asked, "What about the person who's gone beyond heaven and earth?"
Zhaozhou said, "When there's a person like that, come tell me."

A monk asked, "What is the temple?"
Zhaozhou said, "The gate, the buddha hall."

A monk asked, "What is no-birth and no-death?"
Zhaozhou said, "It was never born to begin with, and right now there's nothing to die."

A monk asked, "Who is the master of Zhaozhou?"
Zhaozhou said, "The king is."

A monk asked, "Master, tell me the urgent point."
Zhaozhou said, "Taking a piss is a small matter, but I've still got to do it myself."

A monk asked, "What is the sixteen-foot golden body?"
Zhaozhou said, "The armpit doesn't reach the collar."
"I don't get it."
Zhaozhou said, "If you don't get it, hire a tailor."

A monk asked, "When a student has doubts, then what?"
Zhaozhou said, "Big yi, small yi." [Playing on yí, "doubt," against yí, "appropriate/fitting."]
The monk said, "I mean big doubt."
Zhaozhou said, "Big yi is the northeast corner, small yi is behind the monks' hall."

A monk asked, "What is the person beyond buddha?"
Zhaozhou got down off his seat, looked the monk up and down, and said, "This fellow's good and tall. You could cut him into three chunks. Why ask about beyond and below?"

A nun asked, "What is the most intimate, secret meaning?"
Zhaozhou pinched her with his hand.
She said, "So you've still got this in you, Master."
Zhaozhou said, "No. You're the one who's got this in you."