34Zhaozhou Addresses the Assembly示眾

Zhaozhou addressed the assembly: "The moment right and wrong show up, the mind is lost in the muddle. Is there anyone here fit to answer?"

A monk stepped out, slapped a novice, and walked off. Zhaozhou went back to his quarters. The next day he asked his attendant, "Where's that monk from yesterday?"

"He left right then," said the attendant.

Zhaozhou said, "Thirty years I've ridden horses, and now a donkey throws me."

A monk asked, "When a man comes like this, do you take him in?"

"I take him in."

"And a man who doesn't come like this?"

"I take him in."

The monk said, "The one who comes like this, fine. But the one who doesn't come like this — how do you take him in?"

Zhaozhou said, "Enough. No need to talk. My teaching is subtle, past all thinking."

The great lord of Zhenfu asked, "Venerable one, at your age, how many teeth have you got left?"

"Just one."

"How do you chew anything?"

Zhaozhou said, "One tooth, but I bite down on every bite."

A monk asked, "What is the student's pearl?"

"Ask louder."

The monk bowed.

Zhaozhou said, "You don't know how to ask. Why not put it like this: 'Loud or soft aside, what is the student's pearl?' Why not ask it that way?"

The monk started to ask again.

Zhaozhou said, "I nearly let this fellow off."

A monk asked, "Both extremes are dead quiet. How do you open it up?"

"This year there's no wind, no waves."

A monk asked, "The whole crowd is gathered. What should we talk about?"

"Today we're dragging timber to raise the monks' hall."

The monk said, "Isn't just this how you take a student in?"

Zhaozhou said, "I don't play backgammon. I don't play parcheesi."

A monk asked, "What is the true body of a real person?"

"Spring, summer, fall, winter."

"Put that way, I can't grasp it."

Zhaozhou said, "You asked me about the true body of a real person."

A monk asked, "What is the great meaning of the Buddha's teaching?"

"What's your name?"

"So-and-so."

Zhaozhou said, "In the Hanyuan Hall. In the Jingu Garden."

A monk asked, "What is the teacher of the seven Buddhas?"

"Sleep when you want to sleep, get up when you want to get up."

A monk asked, "The Way is not outside things, and outside things there is no Way. So what is the Way outside things?"

Zhaozhou hit him.

The monk said, "Master, don't hit me. Later on you'll hit someone by mistake."

Zhaozhou said, "Dragons and snakes are easy to tell apart, but a monk is hard to fool."

Zhaozhou saw the great lord come into the monastery and didn't rise. He patted his own knee and said, "Get it?"

"No."

Zhaozhou said, "Left home as a boy, and now I'm old. When I see a man, I've no strength to get off my seat."

A monk asked, "What is loyal advice?"

"Your mother is ugly."

A monk asked, "What about the one who, from the beginning until now, has never forgotten?"

Zhaozhou said, "You can't have it. 'Bind the mind and constantly recall every Buddha in the ten directions.'"

A monk asked, "What is loyal advice?"

"Eat the iron rod."

A monk asked, "What is the matter beyond Buddha?"

Zhaozhou clapped his hands and laughed out loud.

A monk asked, "One lamp lights a hundred thousand lamps. Where does the one lamp catch fire?"

Zhaozhou kicked off a sandal. Then he said, "A real adept wouldn't ask it like that."

A monk asked, "You return to the root and get the point, but following the light you lose the source. What then?"

"I won't answer that."

"Please, Master, answer."

Zhaozhou said, "It should be like this."

A monk asked, "What is the place beyond thought?"

"Speak fast. Speak fast."

A monk asked, "At night it climbs to Tushita Heaven, by day it comes down to this world. Why, in between, doesn't the jewel show itself?"

"What did you say?"

The monk asked again.

Zhaozhou said, "Vipashyin Buddha set his mind on it long ago, and even now he hasn't got the subtlety."

A monk asked, "What about the place beyond thinking?"

"Speak quick. Speak quick."

A monk asked, "What is the jewel in the robe?"

"What's wrong with that question?"

"This is the question: what is the jewel?"

Zhaozhou said, "Put that way, you've lost the robe too."

A monk asked, "What about ten thousand miles with no inn?"

"Spend the night in the Zen hall."

A monk asked, "Does a dog have Buddha-nature?"

"Every front gate is the road to Chang'an."

A monk asked, "Face to face, laid right out, does that exhaust the great meaning?"

"Lower your voice."

"What about the place that can't be gathered up?"

Zhaozhou said, "I told you, lower your voice."

A monk asked, "What is the one phrase right before us?"

"I'm no match for you."

A monk asked, "Who is the one who steps forward?"

"Buddhas and bodhisattvas."

A monk asked, "What about before the sacred herb sprouts?"

"One whiff and your skull splits open."

"And when you don't smell it?"

"Like a man standing there dead."

"Will you let me blend the medicine?"

Zhaozhou said, "When someone comes, don't tell him."

A monk asked, "The ancestors' meaning and the teachings' meaning: same or different?"

Zhaozhou said, "Just left home, not yet ordained, and already going around quizzing everyone."

A monk asked, "What is a sage?"

"Not ordinary."

"What is an ordinary man?"

"Not a sage."

"And neither ordinary nor sage?"

Zhaozhou said, "Now there's a fine Zen monk."

A monk asked, "Two mirrors facing each other. Which one is brightest?"

Zhaozhou said, "Your eyelids cover Mount Sumeru."

A monk asked, "I've only just entered the monastery. I beg you, Master, point the way."

Zhaozhou said, "Good heavens. Good heavens."

A monk asked, "The first phrase is already gone, and the next is hard to make out. What then?"

"To call it anything won't do."

"Please, Master, explain."

Zhaozhou said, "Ask. Ask. Ask."

A monk asked, "What about when it's too steep and high to climb?"

"I don't head for the highest peak."

A monk asked, "Who is the one who keeps no company with the ten thousand things?"

"Not a person."

A monk asked, "Master, in the school's teaching, say me a phrase."

"Today I've no money to give the officer."

A monk asked, "I won't ask anything special. Master, don't answer anything special."

"Strange."

A monk asked, "Outside the teachings of the three vehicles, how do you take a man in?"

Zhaozhou said, "Since this world began, the sun and moon have never changed."

A monk asked, "The three places don't connect. How do I get free of consciousness?"

"Consciousness is beside the point."

A monk asked, "When every kind of seeker comes crowding in, what's the matter at the heart of it?"

Zhaozhou said, "My eye is straight to begin with. I don't talk about the matter at the heart of it."

A monk asked, "Who is it that won't settle on clean ground?"

"You're not yet a man of that place."

"What is the man of that place?"

"Stop right there."

A monk asked, "What is the source of the ten thousand things?"

"Ridgepole, beam, rafter, post."

"I don't understand."

Zhaozhou said, "Bracket and joist, hands folded: don't understand."

A monk asked, "What about when you bring not one single thing?"

"Put it down."

A monk asked, "You meet a man of the Way on the road. Don't greet him with words, don't greet him with silence. So how do you greet him?"

Zhaozhou said, "A man comes from Chenzhou but gets no news from Xuzhou."

A monk asked, "To open your mouth is to act. What is not-acting?"

Zhaozhou gestured with his hand. "This is not-acting."

"That's acting. What is not-acting?"

"Not-acting."

"That's acting."

Zhaozhou said, "Right. That's acting."